It’s been almost 5 months since we’ve been engaged (wowza!) and I’ll let you in on some of my thoughts during the wedding planning process. I will admit the first few months were super blissful. Things were in our favor and I felt like I wasn’t stressed the least bit. We got our dream venue, we won a free engagement session, I received a free wedding dress, we were referred to the most amazing wedding photographer, and our honeymoon perfectly coincided with a friend’s destination wedding. One of my bridesmaids would often say to me, “You don’t seem like the typical stressed bride at all!” It really was amazing and stress-free for the first few months.
And I don’t want to make it sound like the planning process took a 180, but things have definitely gotten more stressful as we started to dive deeper into details, such as the guest list. For me personally, I kept worrying about other people, their expectations, and what would make them happy. Yes, it is our wedding day, but I also realized it is so much more than about us. It’s a day to celebrate with the people who have watched our relationship grow, and even people who have watched us grow as individuals. I felt like I had to make all parties involved happy, and at one point we even committed to the idea of having two separate weddings in one day because of cultural differences. Crazy, right? That’s how much I was willing to compromise to make other people happy. But thankfully, that idea didn’t last very long.
We are now a little more than 4 months away from our wedding day and though we still have a lot more planning left to do, I have refocused my attention on what matters most: our marriage. I realized the times I was most stressed out were when I focused too much on the wedding and the little details that probably won’t even matter 10 years from now. I definitely feel more pressure to make our wedding more beautiful since I am in the industry, but I have to constantly tell myself that I am not doing it to impress anyone else. It’s ultimately for us and our love for each other.
I am still super excited for our wedding day, but I am even more excited for what’s to follow because that is where we will be investing our love.
“Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence.”
-Vincent Van Gogh
[photo credit: unknown]
One of the things I learned from Joy Thigpen at her styling workshop was the importance of values and the importance of maintaining them throughout the wedding. She taught us a quick exercise that I ended up doing with Kit. We basically wrote down a huge list of values that we hold onto and some that best reflected us as a couple, and then we trimmed it down to a final list of ten. These are the ten we hope to maintain throughout the wedding planning process and the values we hope our wedding guests will feel on our wedding day.